“Mommy, I don’t need you.”
Those were the words out of my 3 year old son’s mouth as he was being willfully disobedient. I knew it wasn’t true. Honestly, it took me so completely by surprise that I was speechless. I had spent the morning fixing his breakfast, getting him dressed, taking him potty, cleaning up his accidents, and folding his underwear. He needs me, even if he doesn’t think so. By God’s grace I was able to stay calm and respond gently. It was a teachable moment, so we talked about how that isn’t really true. How he really does need me to care for him and help him.
What my son was really saying was “I’m going to do what I want and I don’t need you to stop me or tell me no.” I haven’t been able to get the whole situation out of my head though. Not so much in my relationship with my son, but as it applies to my relationship with God.
How often have I said “I don’t need you” when what I really mean is “I’ll do what I want and I don’t need you to stop me?” Because really, I know I need God. I’ve tried and tried to do it myself, and I've fallen on my face. But when God is asking for obedience I don’t want to give, when there’s sin I want to cherish for just a little longer, that’s the excuse I give. I say, “God I don’t need you.” I decide that I can manage that area myself and it’s none of his business.
Just like I had to correct my son because I love him, the Lord corrects me.
Hebrews 12:6-11(ESV) says:
“ “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
I especially love that last sentence. The peaceful fruit of righteousness is something that I want, something that I am thankful God has worked in my life, but it has often been painful. That pain is something I sometimes convince myself I’ll avoid by doing my own thing, but it ends up being more painful in the end as I suffer the consequences and the discipline. The best part though, is that through discipline there is restoration. The kindness of his discipline leads me to repentance.
For His Glory,
Courtney
